Not in a Cage: Freedom and Relationships

When we’re single, most of us take for granted the freedom that comes with the territory. The reality is: even if you’re not with a manipulative & possessive person… the second you become part of an item, you’ve got to factor in another person while making your day-to-day decisions. It’s kind of like having a child, to a lesser degree (sometimes) .
This spectrum is a wide one.
Dictating the way you should be living your life is no one’s job but yours. If he’s aware of the way you make your money but calls you to yell at you every Sunday morning… it’s a bit of a stand still, isn’t it? Not moving forward?

Or you excitedly tell him you’re getting a new tattoo with your girlfriend and he sighs, rolls his eyes and gives you a condescending look?
Or tells you not to go on an all girl weekend away because you need to be smart with your money..
Or reacts to what you wear.. or order… or sing in the shower…
Or tells you who you can and cannot hang out with.
NOTE: I consider myself to currently be in a healthy relationship.
After leaving a relationship guided by guilt, I spent the summer of 2009 doing everything I could to remind myself I had no one to answer to. I started going back into the Hollywood scene… I became a self-proclaimed make-out whore… I got another tattoo.. I took road trips to San Francisco (ALONE) I went to Mexico.. I played with drugs again… The air of freedom felt cool to my suffocated and compressed lungs.
When I first met my guy, I was scared shitless to be put in a cage. In fact, for an astounding 6 months he actually used the words “you’re not in a cage” to let me know I had the freedom to do what I chose. Unfortunately, I had been severely scarred by my past. For a woman who seeks independence at every turn of the day, I was traumatized by the idea of having to answer to someone. To my surprise, it got easier.
Eventually I realized that while you keep your partner in consideration, you continue to live for you. When you’re in love and in a healthy relationship, you don’t ever end up having to make hard decisions. It’s never a contest. If you want to do something that could be misinterpreted or misconstrued or could possibly unintentionally hurt your partner… then you talk about it first.
The truth is.. you should always recognize yourself in the mirror and you should still live your life the way you would have lived it without your significant other.. Because if you still want to go out and rage and drink and act stupid while your partner tells you they’re at home sick.. then perhaps you should question where you stand.